1. Fall in love with someone completely out of your league.
2. Tell yourself you’re not in love with them.
3. Everyday fight the urge to text them, call them, email them, Skype them, Facebook poke them, tweet at them, skywrite at them, stalk them.
4. Calmly throw your phone after you do one of the above. Namely text them.
5. Act indifferent and cold when they’re around you. Push them away with all the force you can muster.
6. Be mad that you pushed them away.
7. Tell them all of your secrets late at night. Cry into their arms. Let them hold you and kiss the top of your head as you weep.
8. Hold their hand when they tell you more.
9. Revert back to number 2 whole heartedly, with a frenzy that shakes your whole body.
10. Kiss them passionately when you’re both out grabbing drinks after work. Blame it on the alcohol. Say you were very drunk and didn’t mean it.
11. Cry when you realize later on in your bed that he didn’t kiss you back.
12. Ignore his texts. His phone calls. Cut him out of your life.
13. Act like none of it mattered. That you really didn’t care about him much anyway.
14. Remind yourself that you’re not in love with him. To the point where you actually believe it. Kind of.